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musicaldelirium

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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

When did i start breathing again? [
Wednesday, December 14th 2005 at 9:22 pm
]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | who knows? ]

a sweet story i found:

Sophie's face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair
that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet.
Outside it was snowing lightly.

At a quarter past one the mailman turned the corner onto Allen Street. He was behind on his route, not because of the snow, but because it was Valentine's Day and there was more mail than usual. He passed Sophie's house without looking up. Twenty minutes later he climbed back into his truck and drove off.

Sophie stirred when she heard the mail truck pull away, then took off her glasses and wipe her mouth and eyes with the handkerchief she always carried in her sleeve. She pushed herself up using the arm of the chair for support, straightened slowly and smoothed the lap of her dark green housedress.

Her slippers made a soft, shuffling sound on the bare floor as she walked to the kitchen. She stopped at the sink to wah the two dishes she had left on the counter after lunch. Then she filled a plastic cup halfway with water and took her pills. It was one forty-five.

There was a rocker in the sitting room by the front window. Sophie eased herself into it. In a half-hour the children would be passing by on their way home from school. Sophie waited, rocking and watching the snow.

The boys came first, as always, runnng and calling out things Sophie could not hear. Today they were making snowball as they went, throwing them at one another. One snowball missed and smackd hard into Sophie's window. She jerked backward, and the rocker slipped off the edge of her oval rag rug.

The girl dilly-dallied after the boys, in twos and threes, cupping their mittened hands over their mouths and giggling. Sophie wonder if they were telling each other about the valentines they had received at school. One pretty girl with long brown hair stopped and pointed to her face behind the drapes, suddenly self-consious.

When she looked out again, the boys and girls were gone. It was cold by the window, but she stayed there watching the snow conver the children's footprints

A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.

Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.

The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie's house.

Sophie shoved herself out of the rocker and stood close to the drapes. The man knocked. Her hands trembled as she straightened her hair. She reached her front hall on the third knock.

"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?"

"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you like me to put them?" the man asked politely as he strode in.

"In the kitchen, please. On the table." The man looked big to Sophie. She could hardly see his face between his green cap and full beard. Sophie was glad he left quickly, and she locked the door after him.

The box was as long as the kitchen table. Sophie drew near to it and bent over to read the lettering: "NATALIE'S Flowers for Every Occasion." The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My Sunshine."

It's was five o'clock when Mrs. Mason knocked at Sophie's front door. Sophie was still at the kitchen table. The flower box was now open though, and she held the roses on her lap, swaying slightly and stroking the delicate yellow petals. Mrs. Mason knocked again, but Sophie did not hear her, and after several minutes the neighbour left.

Sophie rose a little while later, laying the flowers on the kitchen table. Her cheeks were flushed. She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.

She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.

At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.

"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you? I knocked at five and was a little worried when you didn't come. Were you napping?" She chattered as she wiped her snowy boots on the welcome mat and stepped inside. "I just hate snow, don't you? The radio says we might have six inches by midnight, but you can never trust them, you know. Do you remember last winter when they predicted four inches, and we hand twenty-one? Twenty-one! And they said we'd have a mild winter this year. Ha! I don't think it's been over zero in weeks. Do you know my oil bill was $263 last month? For my little house!"

Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?

"I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."
Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.

"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring yu the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His 'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."

But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card.

"To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."</u i thought it was sweet. im exhausted and i have to go to bed early so i wont miss my alarm again tomorrow. and i have to do some makeup work for french. midterm grades: ap lit=B (wtf?? i want an A!!!) french 2- A band-A AP Euro- Unknown AP Govt.=D (im ashamed) SAT Prep=A i think i killed my tests for AP Govt. and AP Euro.. i studied for both... just goes to show you maybe i shouldnt study. off to bed.. -ely Natly's sitting there jumping on my bed... lol babysitting is interesting.

grab the mic?

well.. [
Sunday, December 11th 2005 at 5:32 pm
]
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In August I gave [info]fukdwithaknife a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). Last Thursday I gave [info]_endless_dream a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In July I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In April [info]mickeyd0113 and I robbed a bank (-50 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-25 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
musicaldelirium

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
1 spilled their hearts.|grab the mic?

why? [
Sunday, December 11th 2005 at 5:04 pm
]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | goo goo dolls ]

Many things are bothering me today and i dont know why. i guess this is just one of the many perks of being Elia. I dont know...

I love you johnny depp for inspiring me to update my LJ.

but what am i really writing? am i making any sense? i dont even know.

i'm in one of those moods where getting dressed up means a tshirt and pants at the most.


i'd make a great mom some day.

time needs to go by faster.



-ely

all this time i waited to see "in good company"..... was not worth it.
i give it the award of most monotone and pointless movie of the century... but topher grace makes me melt.



And i'd give up forever to touch you
cause i know that you feel me so love,
your the closest to heaven that i've ever been and i don't want to go home right now
and all i can taste is your sweetness
and all i can breath is your life
but sooner or later it's over, i just don't wanna miss you tonight
Chorus:
and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, all the moments and truth in your life
when everything feels like the movies, yea you bleed just to know your alive

1 spilled their hearts.|grab the mic?

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